What Do You Think?”
“Mom, I’m getting married, what do you think?”
*****
36 hours of labor and there in the nursery was the most perfect baby girl ever born. Wrapped in pink, with a little pink bow taped to head, she was mine. Surrounded by baby boys all in blue she looked like perfect pink cotton candy, fluffy and sweet. I couldn’t wait to take her home.
*****
“What do you think of purple and green for colors? Should we do roses for flowers or something less traditional?” Do you even think we can get purple flowers?”
*****
Blonde pigtails and a dress with ruffles and bows, she stood there holding my hand, not one ounce of fear in her. The school bus came to a stop, and she was off to her first day of school. Her face pressed against the window as she blew me kisses and I wondered what I her first day of school would bring.
*****
“What do you think I should wear for a dress? Do you think I should go white or ivory? I don’t really want a veil, are you okay with that?”
*****
White leotard with sequins and glitter covering it, she danced her little heart out. She was dazzling as she plied demi-pointe across the floor. The light hit the jewels in her hair and she gleamed when she hit her mark. She was growing up so fast.
*****
“So, Mom, do you think a fall wedding is good? I’m a little worried about the weather, but I really want an outside wedding and I don’t want to be swatting bugs the whole time.”
*****
The shirt was a little shorter than I would have liked, but she was the star of the show as she flipped and tumbled across the gym floor. Captain of the cheering squad was a role she took seriously, and her enthusiasm was contagious to everyone who was watching. Her million dollar smile and ringlets of gold captured everybody.
*****
“How should I do my hair, up or down? Should I get it colored before then or let it go natural? I was thinking maybe curls, but I don’t know maybe straight with jewel combs in it.”
*****
She was a sight to behold when she came down the stairs, the dress was perfect. Lavender with pink lace, shoes died to match she looked like a princess headed to the ball and in her mind she was. She smiled and waved; then she was gone as the limo took her to her first prom.
“We want to do it here at the house, what do you think? We could have the ceremony and the reception right here.”
*****
Four feet and 10 inches put her at the front of the line as the class of 2001 started the march to Pomp and Circumstance. White cap and gown walked across the stage to get her diploma and my baby was an adult.
******
“Mom, I’m getting married, what do you think?”
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As you know, I'm a great fan of linked vignettes, but I don't think these work--what bothers me most is that after a couple of readings I still can't quite figure out who is who, which generation is which, and whether it's a prom, a wedding, something else, or all three that are being planned.
ReplyDeleteWhat's great about linked vignettes is how much they can leave out and how they can insist on the reader's collaboration. But when there is confusion, that collaboration can only be insisted on if the content is total dynamite.
You can definitely cover a lot of territory; you can definitely leave out conventional links; you can definitely use repeated phrases to build in irony--but you have to make sure your audience is with you.
In a rewrite--maybe this a simple guide to what doesn't work--I'd work on expanding the key vignettes, giving them more depth while still keeping them vignettes.
I did have three mothers of daughters read it before I posted it and they got it, so I thought I had the audience thing covered. I will rewrite, but I'm not sure if I will redo this one or start from scratch, as I really like this one.
ReplyDelete