Take a risk this week he posts. Well I wonder if the riskiest thing of all would be not to write a theme on my blog. I’ll have to outright lie to explain it, he’s not going to let me slide with I’ve just run out of things to write about. So what am I going to tell him?
“Sorry, for no theme posting this week Professor Goldfine, but the President came across my blog on the internet and asked me to come write a speech for him.” No that won’t work; he’d ask to see the damn thing. If I can’t write for myself, how the hell am I going to fake a Presidential address?
“I know I didn’t post this week, but I was away on the medical team for the New England Patriots.” My luck, he’s the ghost writer for Belicheck’s newest autobiography and was on the sidelines last Sunday. Better steer clear of that one.
“John, I didn’t get my posting done last week, because I was in the hospital with a gunshot wound.” Oh God, what if he’s really morbid and wants to look at the gaping hole? Not sure I’m ready to sacrifice a body part in the interest of an A, so I guess I’ll scrap that one.
Wait a minute, I’ve got it! This is an online class; he doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground. “John, I just didn’t have a chance to post this week, I was in Paris modeling Versace’s new line.” Shit, what if he has ever come across a picture of my student or facility id? I’d hate being responsible for him laughing himself into a big old heart attack, the college may frown upon that.
Screw it, I’ll just be a fatalist, write the damn theme, and wait for the big REWRITE to show up.
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