THEME WEEK FIFTEEN #2

You Really Expect Me To Believe That!?
AKA: Top Ten Excuses Heard in EMS 123

“I must have gotten the wrong syllabus, mine didn’t say we were having an exam this week.” (Unfortunately, it got thrown away.)
“I’ve been in shock for a week, I can’t make it to class this week.” (Must have forgotten I’m an EMS instructor.)
“I don’t think I can take the test today, I only slept an hour last night, had a bachelor party for my roommate.” (Yeh well, suck it up, I’ve worked the last 3 days and nights, welcome to the world of EMS.)
“My workbook is in a hotel in Massachusetts, but I can drive down after class and get it and pass it in tomorrow morning.” (Why don’t you have them send it and bring me the postmarked envelope, it would be much more believable.)
“I can’t do that. I haven’t been near a strange pair since 1972 and my wife would kill me.” (Try telling that to your patient who needs to be put in a KED, and you’ll get a real life experience with Joe Bornstein.)
“I don’t think I’ll be able to get to class by 9:00, I’m not really a morning person.” (Did you notice we offered three other classes that started at 6:00 PM!)
“I can’t read the chapters on Trauma; the pictures are too gory.” (You did realize you were signing up for EMS 123, right?)
“I got in the parking lot and realized I forgot my bra, I need to go home for the day.” (Wonder what that outline was on her back as she was walking out of the room? Pretty damn original though.)
“My dog crapped on my homework.” (Guess it’s better than my dog ate my homework, and no I have no desire to see the original.)
“My clinical at Capital went way over, so I’m too tired to be in class today.” (My personal favorite; as I work from 7 pm to 7 am at Capital, and the student WAS NOT there when I got to work the night before. Maybe choosing another service to fib about would have been a little smarter.)


So future students if you plan on taking my classes, please stay away from these excuses. I didn’t buy them then, I won’t buy them now, and they won’t make me laugh the second time around.