Thursday, March 5, 2009

Lover, friend, acquaintance; all people interacted with on a daily basis, but on different levels. Lover, the person you share all with, friend, the person you may lament to about your lover, and acquantaince, the person you discuss the miserable winter we are having with. Conversations with acquaintances should be the easiest, but that is doesn't always seem the case. There is not the easiness that exists with a lover or a friend. Conversations with an acquaintance sometimes are nothing more than filling dead space, which can be exhausting. With a friend, conversation is easier, because the need to sound intelligent is not always as important as the conversation itself. With a lover, silence can say it all, which is extremely comforting in itself.

How about the havoc social events can cause with these three differnt relationships? The lover is the person you wish to spend time with and enjoy, but there is also the friend who is fun to be with. Then along comes the acquaintance needing to be entertained, because you are the only face in the room they recognize. Once again, the acquaintance seems to be a much harder relationship, than that of the lover who stands quietly aside, letting the events play out or the friend who has moved on to another place by now. Some more exhausting dead space conversation anyone?

Oh, and gift giving certainly presents its' own set of challenges in these different relationships. Acquaintances would seem to be the easiest, but once again, not always the case. A lovers' gift may involve a brain racking pull out your hair type of decision, but the final outcome is worth it. A friends' gift also involves a thought process to get that just right gift, but if it isn't perfect they'll understand. They are a friend after all. Now, comes time for the acquaintance gift. Do I buy for this one or that one, and if I do how much should I spend? What if I buy for them and they feel obligated to give in return? Or worse yet, they buy for me when I had no intention of giving them a gift. If I don't return the gift giving will they think I'm cheap or shallow and if I do, will they now assume we are friends? Again, the acquaintance seems to be the most exhausting of the three.

Finally, my all time favorite, running into one of these three unexpectedly. Running into my lover unexpectedly, for me, is a treat. An unexpected encounter with a lover can be the highlight of a day, a few unplanned minutes to spend together. Running into a friend unexpectedly can give us a chance to to catch up if we haven't seen each other in a while. If I'm too busy to chat or visit with the friend, they will understand, no harm no foul. Running into the acquaintance unexpectedly presents challenges. Will they think I'm rude if I don't stop and chat? Do they really believe I'm too busy to stop what I'm doing for a dead space conversation? Did they see me before I slipped into the next aisle? Guess who the last of these three different groups I least like to run into without warning?

Lover, friend, acquaintance; very different relationships, but each with it's own set of "guidelines." Lover at first thought would seem the hardest, but in comparison is often the easiest. Being with a lover or a friend can be much more comfortable than spending time with an acquaintance. Doesn't seem like it should be that way, but it is. A lover appreciates all of you good or bad. Friends are willing to accept you the way you are. Acquaintances, however, seem to require a certain facade so the best foot is always put forward.

1 comment:

  1. One reason I want an essay in bits and pieces and not all at once is to save you the time and trouble of having a whole piece not work--if I had seen just an intro, I could have helped steer you away from what you've done here.

    This is generic, almost completely without the ST factor, a piece nearly anyone could write, nothing individual in in at all. It's very ambitious--we get a different look at three aspects of three relationships in each support graf--and that's more than I expect--, but without real stories, real dialogue, real ST stuff, it's DOA. So, needs a rewrite.

    If it were mine, I wouldn't try to shoehorn stuff into the current grafs; I'd start fresh.

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