SLEEP!!

Tired… time to go to sleep. It sounds like such an easy thing, but is it always? The steps taken before sleep happens are somewhat time consuming and should make one tired in themselves. It is not as easy as laying my head on the pillow and dropping off into dreamland. Three little steps are involved to get there. I have to be ready, the house needs to be ready, and so does the bed.

First, there is the bathroom ritual. Teeth need to be brushed, can’t go to bed with bad breath. What if I have a heart attack in the night and need mouth to mouth resuscitation? That is followed by a shower; I can not climb into a clean bed without being clean myself. Talk about a good way to ruin a night’s sleep. Next comes lotion, it may prevent me from waking up to dry skin itch (usually not this time of year though). Now, I can brush my hair so it does not resemble a home for unidentified wildlife in the morning. Lastly, it’s time to pee. I’m hoping if I pee now, it will buy me another hour of sleep on the other end. I’m ready for sleep, but what about my house?

But, before I can lay my clean but tired little head down, the house needs to be put in order. Dirty dishes in the sink need to be washed and left to dry, so they can be put away in the morning. Breakfast is set out for the ready, in case I miss the alarm. Laundry goes in the washer, so it can be dried in the morning. If I don’t do this now, how will I fold and put them away tomorrow afternoon when I get home? Lights are checked, and turned off or down. Heat is turned back or windows closed depending on the season. One last check of the door is made and I can’t forget to set the ever dreadful alarm. Okay, the house is tucked in for the night; it’s time for that sweet reward. SLEEP! (Wait, need to pee again, just in case.)

Ahh…the final step. Blankets are thrown back and I am in bed. Wait though, the pillows aren’t quite right. One needs to be folded, and the other punched a little to get the right shape. The pillows are fitted to my head now, but the rest of me is not comfortable. So now I change from my side to my belly. I do it every night; one would think I would learn. That feels better, but the pillows are wrong again. A little more pillow rearranging and all is good. Now, I can just lay here and wait for blissful slumber. Damn, on the move from my side to my stomach, the blankets got rearranged. Now, I have to wiggle a little to get the blankets in the right place, and you guessed it, the pillows are wrong again. Once last pillow punch, and all is well. Sleep, here I come!

Sleep should be one of the easiest things I accomplish in a day. I inevitably make it a complicated process every night. One of these years, my resolution, is going to be to get in bed, fall asleep, and to hell with the rest of it. (Except the peeing.)